A Step Closer To My Goal ...

Almost 1.5 months into my new job. i would say that i am definitely not coping well, just struggling and biting on to get past everyday. many a times, i wondered if i ever made the right decision a few months back, but besides moving on, there's practically nothing that i could do. i guess this is what the working world is all about - testing your perseverance to see how long you can endure nasty customers & their unreasonable comments.

i was questioned many times, "what do you aspire to be? what do you want to achieve in your career?". and i realised that i either have no answers to these questions or the answer is "no". all i want is to be able to enjoy what i am doing for the rest of my entire working life. but sadly, i will never be able to get the support from my family & i know that this is not going to be feasible, simply because i am in singapore.

i can't help but blame myself many times for having a huge passion in music. why can't i have a passion in the force, hospitality, or even banking industry? why do i have to fall in love with music? if i were to have a passion in the force, be it navy, army, or air force, then i could be my mom's puppet and sign on for the government sector. though i really did tried for the police force, but i just can't. perhaps that is the reason my mom is always calling me a failure everytime - a degree holder but doing a brainless job.

but sometimes, you just have to ignore all those demoralising comments that are being thrown to you & carry on doing thing that you feel is right for you. after all you only live once, right? though i know my dream of becoming a professional full time singer will never come true, but still, i refused to resign to fate. to be honest, i am holding on to my current job not because i love what i am doing everyday, but because i need that income to fund my expensive hobby. till now, i still aspire to be a singer-songwriter & hopefully, get recognised. it is definitely not easy, but i am going to work hard towards that goal. and i am also glad to say that i am lucky enough to have a bunch of friends who enjoyed singing as much as i do & who are supportive of me, to the extend that we are planning to take on vocal lessons. i may not get the support from my family members (which is demoralising at times), but it really doesn't matter because i know this is what i truly enjoy doing & this is where i find the real choo jia yi.